


Familiar In All the Wrong Ways

by under-latest-nostalgia (psionicTrickster)



Category: Descendants (2015), Disney - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, Dubcon Kissing, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Possibly Unrequited Love, Rejection, Relationship Problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 08:59:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4660551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psionicTrickster/pseuds/under-latest-nostalgia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carlos knew that when he woke up, there wouldn’t be anyone there and that they’d go on pretending like everything was fine.<br/>Carlos also knew that nothing was fine, it hasn’t been for a long, long time, and that he was just very, very tired of it all</p>
            </blockquote>





	Familiar In All the Wrong Ways

**Author's Note:**

> Jaylos AU based slightly on [this](http://under-latest-nostalgia.tumblr.com/post/107889083791/you-picked-roses-with-your-bare-hands-you-said)

It was the middle of the night and Carlos was just lying on his bed in the dark, playing with his phone to pass the time, when a soft creak came from the door of his room. A voice, sounding fragile and very very small, called out to him softly, “C-Carlos…?”

“Jay…?” Carlos mumbles, “What are you doing?”

“Ah.. n-nothing.” Jay whispers back, followed by a small hiccup that meant it wasn’t nothing at all. (Carlos could already feel his heart growing heavy.)

Carlos gets up and half-crawls towards the older boy, who was slumped against the door. “Jay? Seriously, what happened.”

Jay shakes his head and hiccups again, rubbing his eyes before a hysterical laugh bubbles from him, “Sh-she, fuck, you’d think I’d have learned by now right? Fuck, I fucked up  _again…_ ”

Carlos frowns, letting the older boy ramble as he examined the elder properly and discovering cuts along his lean arms, “Jay… have you been drinking again?”

“-never be the hero she deserves an- what? Oh… oh yeah…” Jay mellows as he realizes that Carlos discovered the cuts on his arms, “I… broke some bottles… I- fuck I’m sorry ‘los, shit, I fucked up with you too, huh? I promised you I wouldn’t… but here I am… you probably hate me now… Fuck, I’m a piece of shit, just… go back to sleep ‘los, you don’t need to deal with this…”

“Jay… Jay, no, it’s fine, you’re not a piece of shit.” Carlos says, swiping his thumb over the elder’s face to wipe away his tears, “I’d never hate you.”

“H-how could you not?” Jay says as he rubs at his eyes, “I’ve always been a dick to you, I promised you I wouldn’t drink anymore and here I am, more than halfway to completely smashed. She was right, I’d never be anything more than a villain.”

Carlos holds Jay’s face in his hands, forcing the older to look at him, “I could never hate you Jay. Okay?”

Jay bites his lip, his head already full of protests but he forces them down as he looks at Carlos’ determined eyes and nods limply.

Carlos smiles sadly at him before offering a hand, “Now come on, I’ll clean you up.”

Jay takes the younger’s hand and stands before wobbling and almost-tripping. “Sorry…”

“It’s fine.” Carlos mumbles, helping the other up and onto Carlos’ bed.

Carlos ends up in between Jay’s legs, dabbing antiseptics onto the other’s arm with careful consideration.

Jay’s head is in the crook of Carlos’ neck, eyes closed and tear streaks still not-quite dry as he mumbles, “I don’t deserve you…”

“What?” Carlos asks, tilting his head towards Ja-

And just like that, the older boy’s mouth is on his in a way that’s familiar and beautiful but so, so wrong.

There’s something hot and wet on Carlos’ cheeks as Jay pulls him in with cut-up arms, “I don’t deserve you at all…”

Carlos feels himself letting the older boy take control, kissing him frantically in that desperate way of his that’s become oh, so familiar.

(Carlos hates the part of himself that wants this. No matter how much he knows it’s going to hurt.)

Carlos runs his fingers through the other’s hair soothingly as the older boy kisses everywhere.

The older boy mumbles “sorry” every now and then and Carlos wonders if he’s saying it to him or someone else.

(Carlos doesn’t know which is worse at this point.)

The kisses are hot and frantic with a hint of sadness and as it went on, they start turning slow and reverent.

(Carlos has learned not to melt into them after the first few times. It always ends up that much more painful when he remembers the way Jay’s lips molded against his own lips or his skin as if he was kissing a beautiful god and not the small lanky boy from the Isle of the Lost.)

They fall asleep with their legs tangled under the sheets and their arms wrapped around each other under the light of the moon, pretending that everything was fine and knowing that it definitely wasn’t.

* * *

Carlos wakes up the next day with his bed empty. He sighs because it’s not like he expected anything else. An all too familiar ache in his chest starts and he ignores it like always.

A note is on his pillow and he already knows what it says before he even touches it. The familiar scrawl on it spelling out the same “ _I’m Sorry_ ” like all the others.

(Carlos isn’t sure why he keeps opening them. He wonders whether he still hopes for some kind of message saying the other just went out to get them food or something. He’s started thinking maybe he just wants them to say that this  _thing_ between them won’t happen again.)

As the day goes on he spots Jay on the field at lunch, flowers in hand and grinning brightly.

(Always for her though. The princess that scorns Jay at the slightest hint of villainy, treated like she was the best thing to ever happen to Jay.)

Carlos feels tears welling up in his eyes but forces them back when Jay whoops as the little princess accepts his flowers and spins, only to stop when he locks eyes on Carlos.

Jay gives a small, timid smile and Carlos, the idiot that he knows he is, smiles back.

Carlos knows they’ll pretend that nothing happened. That when Jay comes into their room that night, he’ll crawl into his own bed and pretend everything was normal.

Carlos also knows that he’s not doing this because he thinks Jay will realize that Audrey’s bad for him. If Carlos was honest with himself, he’d say he doesn’t know why he’s doing this at all.

And finally, Carlos knows it’ll just happen all over again and that they’ll keep pretending and they won’t talk about it.

They never talk about it.

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on tumblr [here](http://under-latest-nostalgia.tumblr.com/post/127483543796/familiar-in-all-the-wrong-ways). :)


End file.
